Tuesday, May 31, 2005

there's nothing that I hate more...

okay, an extreme introduction to this message that is not totally true about my subject o' the day. obviously I hate things like mass violence, people who don't respect others, and exploitive trade policies. but up on my list, espeically in the last month or so, has been this damn crazy frog ringtone. my god people. I certainly hope that it hasn't taken over the states as it has here. if I hear this annoying bing, bing, binging once more on the bus or on some popup screen when I'm in the library, my brain may melt. it is that annoying. what is even more annoying is that over 100,000 people downloaded the damn thing last week, to make it the highest charting single in the u.k. over coldplay's new song. seriously, it's a sickness and it needs to be stopped.

in other things, I am trying to self-structure my life in the next two months around the following things: traveling, coffee, running, the gym, job searching, soul searching, new music, and my dissertation. obviously this list in not in order of importance; listing my dissertation last connotes how f*n scared I am to write a bad paper on what could be a cool topic. mmm...more on that later.

off to coffee and dissertation and bask. oh, yes, that's one of my other priorities for the next several months (aka summer): to bask hella lot. I can't imagine that this will actually result in more freckles, but writing that is jinxing myself already.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

that feeling...

today I said goodbye my friend kristine, one of my first and dearest friends from goldsmiths, who is returning to the states tomorrow due to her father's illness. after we walked away from each other, I felt the tingling of the feeling that I had in september: of leaving people that I didn't want to leave but knew I had to, of missing having him/her/them as a regular fixture in my life, of knowing that having a cup of coffee wouldn't involve a trip on a plane. while kristine's departure triggered my memory of my going away party in chicago, it also served as an early notice that, with all of the gripes that I can come up with about london and certain people here, I am going to miss this city and its people when I have to leave. it almost makes me not want to leave; almost because I know that many of my friends will have returned to their home countries. but then there are my friends who will still be here that I will have to leave upon returning to the states.

I'm not really sure what the point of it is, but it is amazing that I become so attached to people and places. I wouldn't say that this is a bad element of my character. in fact, I feel quite lucky to be able to find people and places that I allow to become near and dear to my heart. I guess I'm just processing my london departure in advance. way in advance.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

'hello. we're two of the cutest children ever.'

I think that the title really says it all but, to use this aged cliche, a picture is worth a thousand words. and my god, these images are enough to get me back to kingsley.

read 'em and weep.


again, iza all snuggled up and cuddly. Posted by Hello


baby izabelle at one month Posted by Hello


hello cutie! Posted by Hello


issac edward running around without pants Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

d-o-n-e!

that's right people...just printed out my anthro paper and am about to hand it in. while I have my dissertation introduction due monday and have done NOTHING on the topic, I am pumped! celebrating with margaritas and mexican food tonight with friends at the flat. woo-hoo...back to normal study life.

weird part: there is only one paper left until I finish this program. mmm...not sure what I think about all of that still.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

dear god in heaven, get me through one more day.

I don't know what I think about the whold world of religion, but if there is a god, please, please, please get me through the next 24 hours and please make them good. please cut all internet access until I need to download some jstor article on surrealism, thereby limiting me of my means of endless procrastination. strike the people next to me with instaneous larygitis so that they will shut the hell up. and please, please, please don't let that annoying library intercom voice annoy me like it does everyday. with these three simple steps, I may just have a productive afternoon and evening, only to go home, preferably via a non-smelly and somewhat clean, bus for a night of concise sentences and original points.

Friday, May 13, 2005

note to self

and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- erica jong, fear of flying

after too many conversations with too many people about the next several months, stumbling across this quotation reminded me of the core of my being.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

my name is jennifer and I am addicted to chocolate.

I wouldn't say that I have an addictive personality. perhaps I do some things habitually, but addictively? no, I wouldn't say that that describes my behaviours. until this year or, rather, since september, when I moved to the land o' cadbury. yes people, like it or not, I have become a chocoholic, though I'm not even sure if that label properly defines me. I don't know really when it began, but the sheer joy of a good cadbury or some dark chocolate/mint combination has become a dominant element in my world.

kate gave me a cute magnet a couple of months ago with the standard dialogue between a women and a bar of chocolate. (really, you have to see it to see it to appreciate it.) at that point, the addiction hadn't fully kicked in. last week, I gave up chocolate for the week after a particularly disturbing episode. and today I purchased a large chocolate bar, telling myself that I would only allow myself three squares a day. I don't even want to reveal what I have just done, but I'm sure you get the picture.

I've seen several lifetime-esque made-mad-for-tv movies in which the character who has some foul addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex...name your vice, lifetime has made the flick) reaches their breaking point. this usually involves their loved one finding them behind the sliding doors of their bedroom closet, with their hair matted to their face, tears streaming, and some sort of rocking back and forth motion as they hug their knees to your chest. I have not resorted to that. mind you, I don't have a proper closet. even if I did, I wouldn't crouch around my shoes. however, this is my moment of realization. I am not going to be this girl anymore. the first step is facing up to your addiction, right? so, here it is...me, facing up to the fact that I consume more chocolate per week than a small family of hyper children. okay, maybe it hasn't gotten to that level, but it has certainly gotten far enough.

so, tomorrow, it's cold turkey, from here on out. well, except for mint hot chocolate. that I will never give up.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

image overload?

with my increasing interest in the theoretical bits of photography, this article is a must read. I have little to no time to discuss it; perhaps in a week or two? anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think. (ps if I ever image spam any of you, please tell me!)

from nyt

May 5, 2005
Stop Them Before They Shoot Again
By AMY HARMON
THE baby pictures just kept coming. At least once a month Suzanne Weber opened her e-mail to find the same friend had sent a link to as many as 50 pictures, often including multiple shots of the same child at the same moment at slightly different angles. Finally Ms. Weber, who enjoys the occasional digital baby snapshot as much as anyone, stopped responding, and the friend, taking the hint, stopped sending.

Ms. Weber's e-mail, however, is by no means picture-free. Like many regular Internet users, she estimates that she will view more than 1,000 (why stop? it's free) digital pictures this year of friends, family and their assorted offspring. And she has some unequivocal advice for snap-happy e-mail correspondents everywhere.

"Edit your pictures, people," said Ms. Weber, a writer in Brooklyn whose pen name is Anita Liberty. She suggests no more than three pictures by e-mail, no more than 12 to an online "album," no albums more than twice a year. (Exceptions may apply for grandparents and best friends.)

Ms. Weber is not alone in her plea for restraint. At a time when this country is indulging in an unparalleled binge of personal picture taking, and some digital photographers find themselves drowning in the product of their enthusiasm, the notion is dawning that even in a digital realm less may still be more.

Some critics warn that a great photograph's singular power to trigger memory may be at risk. For many people a photograph they have seen a thousand times itself becomes the memory. With digital pictures it is rare for a single photograph to achieve that kind of status.

"When you have hundreds of pictures where you used to have one, people are less likely to ever go back to look at any of them," said Nancy Van House, a professor in the school of information management and systems at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies the social use of photography. "A lot of people are getting to the point in their digital photography now where it's becoming a problem."

Tinamarie Fronsdale, who is the keeper of her extended family's photo albums, shot more than 300 pictures after getting her first digital camera last year. She saved some on CD's and printed others. But she has not used the camera in months.

"It's too much," said Ms. Fronsdale, 47, a special education teacher in Berkeley. "Looking back at our family pictures from our childhood, I see it isn't important to have so many pictures. We do not need to record every moment."

The idea of passing on hundreds of CD's filled with pictures to her nephews was wholly unappealing, Ms. Fronsdale said, when she realized they would never casually pull them out the way she did with an old-fashioned photo album when she and her mother were recently reminiscing about a family friend.


AMERICA'S amateur photographers produced 28 billion digital pictures last year, 6 billion more than they shot on film, even though only half as many own a digital camera, according to the market research firm InfoTrends. That does not count pictures deleted before being printed or transferred for storage.

People are not just switching formats. They are taking more pictures, 13 billion more last year on film and digital combined than in 2000, when the price of digital cameras began to decline. The number of albums compiled using Kodak's popular Ofoto software (now called EasyShare Gallery) jumped nearly 90 percent in 2004.

In an era when no moment passes that is not a photo opportunity, pet owners compile vast photo archives of their cats and dogs, teenagers wielding cellphone cameras take pictures of one another to fight boredom, and it is not uncommon to receive dozens of pictures documenting a baby's first few hours of life.

Many new photographers - and the newly prolific - extol a new category they call ephemera. It might include a picture of an interesting glove on the sidewalk. Seen through the lens of a camera that never requires its owner to pay for film, the mundane takes on new meaning.

The digital shooting spree is only expected to accelerate as a growing number of camera-phone shutterbugs join the ranks of those reveling in pictures immediately available and easily shared. Many digital picture enthusiasts say the medium has taken on a new currency as a running document of everyday life. Others say that even if they never look at a picture, just the experience of taking it engages them with a scene in a more interesting way.

Most people save all of their pictures, no matter how blurry or unremarkable. Many store them with the file names automatically assigned by their cameras, like "DSC31.jpg." Others develop complex classification to take the place of shoeboxes or an envelope with "Grand Canyon, 2003" scrawled across it.

Van Swearingen, an avid gar-dener in Greenwich Village, has sorted the 6,000 flower pictures he has amassed in three years into seasonal subfolders on his computer. Within them are folders labeled with the date and within those are other folders of the pictures he has cropped and color-corrected to his liking.

But when he was looking for a particular image of a lotus the other day, it took him half an hour sifting through computer files. And the hundreds of pictures he exchanges daily with other garden hobbyists has made him look at his own with a jaundiced eye.

"The constant stream of images somewhat cheapens the medium for me," Mr. Swearingen, 43, said. "It becomes almost too immediate."

It is partly the pleasure of that immediacy that propels people to take all those pictures. Many digital photographers, including Mr. Swearingen, describe the immediate gratification as addictive.

But Jim Lewis, a novelist who wrote an opinion article for Wired magazine titled "Memory Overload," suggests it is the hollowness of the gratification that fuels the addiction.

"You take the picture to capture the memory of being there, but if you take the picture, you aren't really there," Mr. Lewis said by telephone. "You're trying to satisfy a hunger which is actually being created by the activity."

In his article Mr. Lewis compared mushrooming digital photography to a map of the world that grows in detail "until every point in reality has a counterpoint on paper, the twist being that such a map is at once ideally accurate and entirely useless, since it's the same size as the thing it's meant to represent."

MICHAEL KUKER, 31, does not see a problem with that. He has deposited 9,946 images on his hard drive since buying a digital camera two years ago. The no-risk nature of the technology, he said, has emboldened him to express himself. He shot 200 pictures of a bridge in Redding, Calif., and saved them all.

"Once it hits my computer, it stays, even if I don't like it," Mr. Kuker said. "In a historical context, 20 to 30 years down the road, someone else might find it interesting."

Or even tomorrow. Like many protophotographers, Mr. Kuker has been inspired to take more pictures to attract an audience online. He is a member of Flickr, a photography Web site (www.flickr.com), where half a million people have plunked 8.2 million pictures since it opened for business last summer.

Caterina Fake, Flickr's founder, argues that people just have to get used to a new way of interacting with photographs. The digital deluge may make it harder for single images to stand out of the dense crowd, but it also offers greater intimacy with friends and family and a new means of communication among strangers.

"The nature of photography now is it's in motion," said Ms. Fake. "It doesn't stop time anymore, and maybe that's a loss. But there's a kind of beauty to that, too."

Adam Seifer, the founder of another photo-sharing site, www.fotolog.net, said the glut of pictures is a problem only when they are channeled to the wrong audience. Mr. Seifer, who takes a picture of every meal he eats, concedes that his mother-in-law might not be interested in those pictures. "It becomes sort of the new spam," he said.

But Mr. Seifer's food log receives 15,000 visits a week from people who are apparently interested. If photographers save the baby pictures for their mothers-in-law, Mr. Seifer argues, and store the rest in a central location where others can choose to view them or not, no one would suffer from overload.

Still, even in the enthusiast bastion of online photo sharers, there are signs of paring down.

"I'm thinking of going on an image diet," Frederick Redden, 52, of Stuart, Fla., wrote on a Flickr discussion board. His plan to delete some of the 250 pictures he had put up, based on unpopularity, was met with cries of disapproval.

One respondent wrote, "If I did that, I'd have to delete all of my pictures!"

Sunday, May 08, 2005

some things just don't change.

until a hour and a half ago, I was having a fairly productive day. I woke up at six, tidied my room before going on a 10 mile run, stretched, did some situps, showered, made lunch, and went to gsmiths's library, where I spent two and a half hours taking notes on a film for my next paper (yeah, you all think I'm a film student now). after finishing the film, I came to this shiny imac and did a bit of research on the aforementioned documentary. and then, then, what did I do? I read several nyt articles. okay, not bad. necessary to know what's going on in the world. then I checked my email. also, necessary. communication is necessary. but for the last forty-five minutes, I have done NOTHING but read 'best of' on craigslist. and honestly, this has to stop. what part of my brain gets turned off when I read this damning, yet wonderful, pit that sucks my soul away? apparently, the part that is in complete anxiety mode with the little amount of time to do a lot of decent to excellent writing.

there were times pre-london that I would get wrapped up in 'best of.' it's easy to do. a little break from real responsibilities, if you will. but damn it, attempting to read all of the posts in one sitting is not mine or anyone's responsibility. I'm now forcing myself to go back to my flat and engage in a carefully orchestrated method of avoiding the worst flatmate ever (maybe not as bad as the girl who wrote ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com, but really, she's awful), just for the simple fact that, without internet access, I am guaranteed to get much more done without the possibility of reading the only 'best of' post from austin. because damn it, I will not self-sabatoge myself! at least, not until after these papers are written...fingers crossed.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

mobile blogging?

honestly, I'm bit taken aback. is blogging from mobile phones something that is really necessary? are we really getting to the point where we can't sit down at a computer to post to our blogs? honestly? with so many laptops and so many wifi locations, I wonder if this development in blogging will lead to anything fruitful. mind you, I've become more inclined to texting during my time in the u.k. but give me more than 146 characters space to write something to another person? what's the point? isn't blogging about sitting down and recording/broadcasting your thoughts? personally, I'd rather not do this from my phone. why further promote whatever joint damage I'll already have in my thumb from furious texting?

now, with that ramblation out of the way, I must get on with the papers. two papers due in just over two weeks. if my blogging is a bit sparse, you'll know why.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

founder's day & rain???

first off, the damn may day bank holiday (which was actually on may 2) has totally thrown me off, so I think that it's monday. wonderful, wonderful. has skewed my paper writing schedule a bit, but I'm trying to get back on track, as per my campaign with tolan, most appropriately named 'back on track 2005.' (that should be said with a great deal of straight edge enthusiasm, if those two parts of the phrase even go together.)

okay, so founder's day, that most beloved vassar event, my favorite day of the entire year, was on saturday. obviously I was not there. I was in the goldsmiths library writing crap about dirt and imperialism. (and crap it is.) this was my first absence at founder's day since 1999. am I bit of a f.d. junkie? perhaps? did I miss seeing/playing in the alumni rugby game(s)? fo' sho'. is my body totally off it's biological clock because I haven't spent this past saturday drunk on cider and roaming about the hill in flipflops, sunglasses, and some cute skirt? most definitely. so, with all of my heartfelt connection to founder's day, I sometimes feel like a bit of an eccentric about the whole thing. but let me tell you this, founder's day misses me too. how do I know? well, for the first time since 1999, it actually RAINED on founder's day, which is fine rugbywise but shite for anything else f.d. related. matthew vassar himself was missing my presence and the rain is testament to that. fear not matthew and fellow f.d. attendees. I will be back to poughkeepsie in the beginning of may next year. yes, it may be a bit weird to still be back there after being out for four years. but it is the 25th anniversary of women's rugby at the vass and well, sometimes you just have to represent.

on a completely work-related note, I officially have less than two weeks to think of a topic, read for it, and write for it for my politics and culture class. all this while writing my anthro & representation course essay, which is due two days after pol & cul. awesome, awesome. my media paper due friday is not so great, but I'm cutting my losses and working on these next two. a girl has to do what a girl has to do. one of my gsmiths friends is going back to the states in three weeks after the onslaught of essays and exams (due to her father's worsening condition). she said something today that really struck me. 'I feel like it took me so long to get here and now it's almost done.' god, I feel like that and I'm leaving in three months (or so). it's going to be a bit surreal when I'm actually packing up my london life and returning to an abyss of the unknown. reading cards that my chicago friends gave me at my going away party reminded me of why I should go back there. there are some good people in chicago. so why do I feel so unsure about it? oh, things that I can't think about right now. back to the stacks to search for books and pull together paper three. hope that this finds you all well. love to all.