'tainted love'

some of you will be overly thrilled by my latest (well, let's be honest, my first) karaoke performance a la scarlett johansson. (I'm hoping that at least one of you will pick up that reference...marci maybe?) yes, 'tainted love' was on the mic and I was singing into it. after a half-pint of stella, I felt slightly less worried about singing in front of loads of gay men (and some of them were REALLY good, to make me feel even more nervous). all in all, the experience was quite the success. harry sang a morissey song just after me and, with our new found gutsyness, we will be making the retro bar a regular spot on wednesday evenings.

on other fronts, life is good but very busy. first paper: done. second paper: still needs to be started. classes: lots of reading. dissertation: have thoughts of a cool topic, but definitely more work to be done. running: going okay; will decide on june marathon in the next two weeks. friends: quite well, lots of activities planned, though papers and sickness is keeping several people out of play for the moment. tvm: must learn lines in the next two weeks and I just got a second part, as someone dropped out. (new part: what would your vagina wear? what would it say? anyone?) other sorts of business abound, but really, lots of good so that's nice.

must get to work on my to-do list of the day, so that I can negotiate a women's society meeting tonight and a genocide lecture in completely different parts of the city. wanted to post you all on the latest...not that it is overly exciting by any means, but so that there is something new to read on the blog, at the very least.

be in touch soon y'all. and, of course, love to all.

je suis pres'que fini avec mon papier!, or why I wish I could make snow angels in my outdoors.

a lengthy title, but quite appropriate for the day.

and that's all I have time for, as I'm about to be kicked out of the library...ridiculous!

hope that all of you snow bunnies take in the flakes for me. off to finish my first proper paper for this program. and then to watch the final celebrity big brother, my latest addiction.

love to all.

i am a masochist.

god willing, that title won't get me listed on some erotica website of sorts. my masochism, especially that of the moment, is my 'ingenius' idea to apply lacanian psychanalysis to this bloody paper on identity erasure. jigga what? yeah...I've set ambitious goals (like really understanding lacan in a matter of weeks) and then sabotage myself. example: I drank a latte at 8:45pm last night, with the best intentions of working for several more hours, only to put myself to bed two hours later with the excuse of, 'I'm tired. I can't work well right now.' what??? caffeine flowing through my veins and I wuss out and go to bed. argh.

let's hope for a better paper day today, shall we?

and yes, you can roll your eyes now people. I do it to myself just thinking about all of this.

hope you're all well. loves.

random bits

here are a few things that don't really flow in a narrative form...they're more random bits that may or may not be of interest.

1. I've calculated that maximum sunshine per day in london is two hours. ah, winter hours + grey skies = the overwhelming desire to go somewhere warm, somewhere mediterranean.

2. audrey gave me jasmine-vanilla pillow spray for christmas. I am now equating this innocent little bottle to a guarantee for me to have (and remember, which is quite abnormal) really wicked dreams. there may be other interference that is causing part of this, but seriously, aud, the spray has now turned into crazy ass dreams...to which I have somewhat of an addiction. yes, odd.

3. kingsley, iowa has never looked so attractive. why? it's not like anything in london reminds me of hometown, usa, but visions of that blue-green water tower are in my head.

anyway, that's bits from here. hope that all is well with each of you. my love to all.

astounding...I've actually uploaded photos.

yes, yes, yes. you've heard it for months I've fed you all the same line. 'I'm planning to upload photos soon.' you've probably grown so tired of hearing it that you think that I'm the boy who cries wolf. well guess what mingers, I've done it! photos up on snapfish. now, mail me and tell me if you want access to the hoards of goodies. :) I'm going to try and get them better organized (themes, days, captions, rotating some of them, et cetera), but at the very least you'll get something from it all.

now, I know it's a lot to have you mail me to get access to these photos, but, being me, I'm worried that I'll accidentally forget some people and then I'll feel like a schmuck and feel bad in general. so, mail me, and I'll promptly invite you to my wonderful world of snapfish.

lovely...now, back to lacan and genocide. *jealous?*

love to all.

i <3 sleeping. 

a lovely morning in londres...

sunday morning, the day is lovely, it's not one bit chilly, and, surprise, surprise, the SUN is actually out! ah...

I'm in the library. yes, yes, all of you at vassar will remember how we bemoaned the endless hours of sunday that we spent in the library when all we really wanted to do was frolick outside. while there is a twinge of that in me right now (spitalfields market, columbia road flower market, are you calling my name???), there is also a bit of peace that I take in being in a library and working on a paper that, for the moment, allows me to channel all of my energy into one thing. it does get a bit soul sucking at times, but I haven't gotten totally immersed in it all, so I think that it is okay.

spring term starts tomorrow and I know that I've got loads coming up...but I'm also excited. just thinking that after two more months of classes, oodles more papers, and a dissertation and I'll have a M.A. is pretty great. what to do with that little degree, that is the question.

hope this finds you all well. updates, please! (oh, and resolution two is to appreciate my friends in a more proactive fashion, so heads up for some emails.)

love to all.

a new year

with a new year, I'm taking a new approach to this blog. mind you, I'm not quite certain how that will pan out exactly, but to start with, I'm going to stop counting the days that I've been here. honestly, why mark the time like that? and frankly, no one wants to read journal entries for day three hundred sixty, right? I thought so...

so much has gone on in the last three weeks, both internally and externally, that I'm sure that all of you (my readers, as I am cognizant that this does have an audience, however small it may be) know different bits and pieces. the long and short of it is that I am learning to live with decisions that I've made and trying not to curse them. sounds a bit complicated, I reckon, but appreciating the 'now' is high on my list of resolutions, the small list that I forced myself to put together. another priority is to appreciate my friends. not that I don't but I guess I'm looking to focus a bit more on the great relationships that I have from different parts of my life. if nothing else, 2004 has taught me that friends are tres important. (is this all just so obvious? I know, but sometimes I lose sight of things, hence the increased focus on this note.)

with that all said, I don't know how that actually gets implemented on in daily life. breathing in and out and remembering each day that I'm lucky to be in london is a start. what remains to be seen after all of that is going to be the tough part.

now I'm rambling and I trust that each of you have heard enough new year's resolutions the way it is. so let me just say that I hope that 2004 has made you a bit wiser and that 2005 is a good year for us all.

my love to all.