my name is jennifer and I am addicted to chocolate.

I wouldn't say that I have an addictive personality. perhaps I do some things habitually, but addictively? no, I wouldn't say that that describes my behaviours. until this year or, rather, since september, when I moved to the land o' cadbury. yes people, like it or not, I have become a chocoholic, though I'm not even sure if that label properly defines me. I don't know really when it began, but the sheer joy of a good cadbury or some dark chocolate/mint combination has become a dominant element in my world.

kate gave me a cute magnet a couple of months ago with the standard dialogue between a women and a bar of chocolate. (really, you have to see it to see it to appreciate it.) at that point, the addiction hadn't fully kicked in. last week, I gave up chocolate for the week after a particularly disturbing episode. and today I purchased a large chocolate bar, telling myself that I would only allow myself three squares a day. I don't even want to reveal what I have just done, but I'm sure you get the picture.

I've seen several lifetime-esque made-mad-for-tv movies in which the character who has some foul addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex...name your vice, lifetime has made the flick) reaches their breaking point. this usually involves their loved one finding them behind the sliding doors of their bedroom closet, with their hair matted to their face, tears streaming, and some sort of rocking back and forth motion as they hug their knees to your chest. I have not resorted to that. mind you, I don't have a proper closet. even if I did, I wouldn't crouch around my shoes. however, this is my moment of realization. I am not going to be this girl anymore. the first step is facing up to your addiction, right? so, here it is...me, facing up to the fact that I consume more chocolate per week than a small family of hyper children. okay, maybe it hasn't gotten to that level, but it has certainly gotten far enough.

so, tomorrow, it's cold turkey, from here on out. well, except for mint hot chocolate. that I will never give up.