day twelve: look at this, people read this blog!

received a few mails today noting that several people are actually reading this bit of writing...amazing. good, good, good.

the latest here: well, first of all, I love being a grad student. I'd even go as far as to say that I <3 being a grad student. it's the best. your own schedule (aside from lectures and seminars) and tons of interesting reading to do. mind you, this is only my first week as an official 'grad student,' so the tons of reading part might become a bit wearing. and I haven't gotten to the 'holy shit, I have three 20-page papers due tomorrow' stage, but I'm telling you people, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. go to the library, drink coffee, live sparsely, and ruminate, ruminate, ruminate.

tonight is my last night in the hostel (yippee!) so, after class tomorrow, I'll move into the new space, with the help of kate and em. yes, this means no more flipflops to the shower, no more smelly smelly room, no more rolling clothes up to put them back into the suitcase. it's a whole new day from here on out peeps.

oh, also, ran about regent's park for two hours today. yes, the marathon, even though I've moved continents, is still going to happen...and in only four weeks!

love to all.

day ten: a home for me!

yes folks, you read correctly...I have finally found a home! or, rather, people want me to live with them. isn't that great??? I will be living with three other girls (english, kiwi, aussie) who all work, so there will be that bit of detachment from the school/goldsmiths atmosphere, which will be quite nice. the flat is near the cricket oval, so perhaps I'll pick up that bit of english culture up through osmosis.

with this move, I'll be able to unpack my suitcase. (yes jennie tyma, this means that london has yet to experience my sexy galoshes...watch out!) and I'll have a kitchen, which means I can cook whenever I want. and I can knit again and read in my own space. and I can wash my clothes...and then hang them to dry. (dryers are not too common about here. odd, no?) and, well, other house-oriented things. you all perhaps are laughing at my great enthusiasm for this corner of the world, as people move in and out of places everyday. but this, this is big folks.

as I've finished classes for the day (and I must say that I'm a bit disappointed in my postcolonial theory class), I am going to pop over to meet my landlord and drop off my rent. emily and kate (both american students; one's from vassar, the other's a friend of ms. sarah vdr) may sigh a bit a collective relief together (ie hangout) now that I will have an actual place to host soup nights. (mmm...)

I'm really really quite excited for this move. and prospective guests (and all of you who are reading this are prospective guests, I do hope), my room has a double bed. that's right folks, lots of cuddling in london avec moi awaits each of you!

loves to all...and a new home for me!

ps should you like to mail me, the address is as follows:
moi, your most fabulous friend/family member/archnemisis who thought that london was the place to be in 2004-2005
26a clapham road
oval
london
sw9 0jg

day eight: life begins to move into a direction of semblance

what can I mean by that? well, first off, I may or may not be moving into a flat on friday afternoon. met the third roommate of a flat that I had visited on wednesday. I should find out about that space by tuesday...fingers crossed? there is another place not too far from this flat that would be fine, but I think this first flat would be a bit more ideal, both for getting to college and to central london. I'm not really sure what the living life would be around this area, but it seems fine enough, so I'm not too worried. I'm also not trying to set my heart on this, so we will see sooner than later.

also, I bought a mobile! yes, people, I have succumbed to the uk network system that I in no way understand. honestly, this many pence to call this network, that many pence to quickly ring the united states, topping off my phone. I thought I might be able to figure it all out before purchasing and that I could get by ringing on pay phones, but enough is enough. people here can't get a hold of me, people at home (should anyone want to) can't get a hold of me. really, it's a better situation for everyone.

so folks, here it is. dialing from the states, my mobile is the following: 011 44 786 330 8352. it will cost me nothing if you ring and, with the pinching of pennies right now (yes, they call the one pence pieces pennies. okay, so yes, I have obviously never been here before and am reveling in all of the tiny nuances of this new place.), I doubt it will be me ringing for a bit of time...at least until I get my loan monies.

so all, that's that. classes begin tomorrow, I'm still in some limbo of where I will call home, and I have a snazzy new phone that I plan on bedazzling as soon as funds become more available.

my love to all.

day six: the bureaucratic machine in full force

and this time, with no answers...really.

the sad reality is that I may be living in a hostel until my loans come through, unless I move into college housing. pros: if a room was available in the next few days, I'd have a home that I could settle into during the beginning of classes; could most likely move in immediately, regardless of the fact that I don't currently have loan money in hand. cons: new cross area (would like to experience more than just one part of london on a daily basis); dorm room is probably not super comfortable situation for any guests that may come to visit; not living in imagined 'ideal' flat for the year.

the need for a home is getting bigger in my head each day, as living in a backpack is not really all that fun. (though I did do it for months at a time in cameroon, so it can be done.) it will be nice once the housing is straightened out, once I can unpack my things, once I can afford to eat a bit more, et cetera.

sorry all...you can tell what the all-encompassing thought is in my head: get my funds so that I can actually move into a home!

day five: new wrinkles in my forehead

today is the day that I've been dreading for so long...the day when I feel glummer than I'd like, when I doubt that I'll actually find a place to live, when I just can't seem to convince myself that this is all doable. hello, totally doable. it's not like I don't have tons of support, a bit of resources, and a good deal of common sense. nevertheless, the weight of finding a home (and not just any home, mind you, but the ideal space that is in the perfect neighborhood, costs nearly nothing, and is just perfect for visitors) is bearing down on me. granted, this is the idealized version of my life...and perhaps that is part of this problem: that I idealized what this part of the experience would be like. but that is a part of this year, I guess. hopefully, I find a space that I feel comfortable in, can explain the money situation, and find a responsive person all at the same time and space.

with this consuming my thoughts, I haven't really enjoyed this day, which is unfortunate, as I trekked to a new part of the city while searching out a room. am going to speak with the accomodation people soon, should I absolutely need to fall back on dorm life in new cross, and then register for classes.

things will be better dear friends, so I hope you aren't worrying about me. my love to all.

day four: a home for me...anyone?

short but brief: I need a london home. currently, who knows where that will be. a roomshare (inexpensive, comfortable, and convenient, ideally) but it may very well be the dorms in new cross ('gritty' is how the college describes it's neighborhood. huh, yeah.). so there are my woes folks. keep me in mind as I trudge through the london housing market. unbelieveable city, beautiful sights, good mix of people...but the perfect flat for this girl? we will come to see.

in a related note, I'm missing the comforts of 823 n. winchester ave., #1 sorely. god bless that little corner of the world.

day three: london and everything there is yet to discover

london is...well, london is amazing. in the past two days, I've done a fair amount of walking about, talking with new people, and seeing all sorts of beauty. quite literally, everything in the center of london, where I have spent most of my time, is amazing. the melange of different sorts of people from all over the world, with these amazing lanuages ringing through the air, postcard photographs waiting to be captured, and old structures juxtaposed new...like the aquarium adjacnet to millenium eye. it's quite, well, quite.

yesterday was my first day at goldsmiths college, where I'll be spending a great deal of my time in the next year. not really sure of what exactly I was to do during the day, I enrolled, received my student card and email address, found out that my loan checks STILL have not reached london (yes folks, I met glynn francis face-to-face), and attempted to find someone in my department. no luck on the department end, though I will try again today.

after walking to the nearest tube stop in the rain (without my galoshes, nonetheless), I met up with ms. emily gaynor, a vassar acquaintence who will certainly become a good friend as we navigate our own paths in london throughout the next year. we explored a bit more of the city and took a few photos. after deciding not to meet up with a sudanese man that I had a pint with on sunday (yes, random people already), I went back to my hostel. two of my roommates (architectural students from belgium) and I set off for leicester square and found some good 'economic' chinese noodles for dinner. another somewhat early night for me (jetlag?) as I settled into reading a bit more of white teeth and faded off into sleep.

I have returned to campus this morning in hopes of making contact with the department, exploring a bit of the area around goldsmiths, and then getting in touch with people regarding rooms. I've an appointment to see a flat in battersea and am hoping that it works out well. you all know me...there's a certain amount of anxiety that is allowed in such situations as finding a room in five days time. then there is the amount that I add on to it all. oy vay.

I've yet to sit down to my journal and capture some of these thoughts. perhaps today if I stumble upon a nice park. nevertheless, most of them are here for you all to read. my love to all...

day one: london and all of the emotion that comes with it

it seems that my ambitiousness always gets the best of me, especially in the first couple of weeks when I feel so emotionally scattered that I just want to pitch the whole idea that I have (this one being london). have arrived to london, staying in a multi-bed room in a hostel in camden and attempting to find a place to live. new places are great...I'm all for it. I'm just having severe detachment feelings right now...my room, my friends, my city. that will all come together here, I know, but I want it so badly now. physical exhaustion doesn't help the fact, that's for certain.

nearing the end of my time in the internet cafe. going to revamp myself, make some rooming phone calls, and try to settle in this transition phase as best I can.

my last day at gragert research

after working here for over two years, today I will clean my desk, hand in my keys and company credit card, and bid farewell to gragert research. I'm not going to view this time with rosey-colored lenses. there were times when I was miserable here. but it was my first job post-college, so there is something special about the entire experience.

one more day of political research. one day closer to the departure.

it's really going to happen.

yes folks, I think I've hit the actual realization point: I'm moving to london. holy shite. the loans are actually in the process of getting disbursement dates, I'm this close to booking a hostel for next week, and my schedule in the next couple of days has to include actual packing and moving.

not that I'm sad about any of this. but, in a way, I am. while I may be returning to chicago in a year's time -- at least, that's the current plan -- my chicago life will never be the same. and that's a good thing. but it's still as scary as hell.

note to tarot card lady: you didn't need to tell me that my lifepath number is about "expansive change." now that's how I contextualize this entire experience. thanks a bunch.

business, business, business

looking at my schedules (yes, there are two of them), there are so many things to be taken care of yet. my fees officer is still somewhat dragging his feet (are all brits like this???), the visa application will be submitted (and hopefully approved) demain, and then there is just everything else. yes, those are the categories I have right now. "everything else" is pretty hefty right now. a personal day tomorrow should help whittle that down, but oy...

good thing I knew going into this process just how much there would be to do, with every other part of my life as busy as this.

procrastinating the inevitable

labor day weekend was always the weekend that I was going to do some serious packing of my chicago life...this is labor day weekend. yes, the beginning of my realization that I am actually moving. am I being a bit too dramatic in my realization? perhaps. regardless, this realization still remains at a very subconscious level, more of a constant buzz in my underlying psyche than me freaking out.

no more putting off the inevitable. time to begin to pack away my room, a small, physical part of my time in chicago.

who knew that this would be so difficult?

you'd think that getting into a graduate program would be the most difficult. apparently not...the fees process is where they really make you prove your merits. after many emails and phone calls to that illusive fees office across the pond, and one VERY reassuring conversation with my london-moving advisor, mr. micah buis, I am feeling like this in fact is going to happen. (though, mind you, it's not that I consciously recognize the fact that I'm leaving. of course not.)

as the pixies say, "this ain't no holiday." word pixies, word.