a few photos from thanksgiving weekend

jackie schmidt-posner (aka poze's mum) sent these photographs along. thought that I would share a photo of my frozen self on thanksgiving morn...and then one of amanda and I warming back up!

something about the day

something about today is not allowing me to move on with things.

there's no reason for it not to. I slept enough, warm and toasty near my space heater. I had a lovely conversation with one ms. sheila, who is about to become proficient in the art of scrubbing in. (she begins her surgery rotation tomorrow...good luck shay!) I read the paper online while munching on some go lean crunch cereal. I've even gone through the process of showering, dressing, primping, getting coffee, lightining candles, listening to woxy. good god, I'm in the grips of procrastination.

this really only happens when I feel like something is really important. so, there is the reason, staring at me blankly as if to say, 'duh.' whenever I bought into the idea that I should be a professor, that's what is catching up to me right now. imbuing every step of the process with too great of significance. that's my weakness.

perhaps this writing will have loosened my fingers and let all of this 'personal statement' business out of my head and onto the screen. here's hoping...

(ps yes, I realize just how snively I sound. whining about ph.d. applications...I am blessed, I know.)

just one shot of winter...

a different angle
Originally uploaded by jlpetersen.

winter has come to chicago; here's one of my many photographs celebrating the arrival of the season.

oh, weeks and weeks of business...

black and whites!
Originally uploaded by jlpetersen.

one, I can't believe that I'm blogging this photograph. but, as you see with the lingering of fatigue about me in this picture, it has been a busy few weeks, hence the lack of blogging. while I should be working on my berkeley application (the first application...due this week!), I also need to write. so write I will.

where to begin? working backwards...as you'll see in the photographs that precede this entry, chicago saw it's first real snow yesterday! as I had holed up in my apartment cleaning and decompressing from the week/the thanksgiving holiday, I didn't see the actual falling of the snow (which is my most favorite part). nevertheless, I was quite excited to walk out into the world in its snow-covered state. winter is indeed here, as amanda, her parents, and I realized with our frozen toes thanksgiving morning while watching the thanksgiving day parade.

so, the days preceding the holiday weekend have been riddled with many gre words, lots of vassar events, a bit of dancing at the hideout (where I chatted with another member of the changes!), plans of new year's eve, arranging to go to d.c. this weekend, spending some time with a new person, discovering the joys of alliance bakery, and, of course, work. the next few weeks will likely be as busy as the last, which is fine and well, especially all of the business (albiet that connected to the holiday season) is connected to either my friends (always wonderful) or my applications (ie what I want to be when I grow up).

the one thing that I must do soon (likely post-berkeley application) is write all of my london friends and several vassar people. I have severely neglected some of these people, though I think of them often. once I have a bit of time, I'll be more on point with my correspondence. but, until then, I should get back to my personal statement and/or go to bed and/or do some kickboxing. yes, I could easily do any of these three right now...that's the current state of my life.

I hope that this finds all of you well and happy. it is certainly at that time of the year that some people get into the seasonally-induced duldroms. here's hoping that the warmth of friends, family and other fun is enough to battle against the lack of sunshine.

snowflakes!

while I don't have time to write much, I DO have time to be super excited about the first swirling snowflakes of the season, as sparse as they may be. I just received an email today with my first encounter of the words 'chicago winter' and was a bit shocked. but now I know...winter hath cometh.

norwegian + danish = irish?

on the bus home from the gym last night, an old man broke through the ipod earbuds (he wasn't going to let those little bits get in his way) and asked me if I have irish ancestors. after I told him that my gene pool is largely norwegian and danish, he said, 'oh, norwegian and danish equal irish.' it was the best equation I had heard in a while.

'little mama'

my god, I am too busy. too busy to even go into the 'little mama' story. the bad news: I don't know if I'll get it all done. (note: yes, I know I will. I always do. nevertheless, I am in that moment of self-doubt.) the good news: the gre is next wednesday and my first applications are due on the first.

okay, just writing that is making me anxious. good thing I've had some good tension release lately. (yes kathryn and marci, you can giggle away.)

disappointment

just received my dissertation marks from goldsmiths and, as the subject indicates, I'm disappointed. I knew that my bit on benjamin was not as fully developed as it can be, but I guess I was relying a bit on some sort of good karma to bump my mark up a bit. the mark isn't all that poor, really, but I am gutted. the pressure - self-invoked, of course - to do really well on my gre and prepare the rest of my application well is on. but what am I off to do right now? bake zucchini bread. at the very least, I know that I can do that well. (note: I will not allow the self-doubt that rings through with bells and whistles in the last statement to overtake me. a bit of initial sulking is necessary though.)

here's hoping that my program marks are more impressive than the dissertation...boo.

plip plop

after an evening spent at my favorite coffee shop (ps I am spending way too much time there, but such is the function of living so close and having much to do that involves coffee and more often than not good music), I was yet again greeted by a londonesque night of rain. now that I'm home, with dozens of new gre words floating about my head, it will be nice to curl up with my new book and listen to the plip plopping of the rain. oh, autumn...

imprinting

how long does an imprint of someone stay with you? how long do you continue to allow that imprint to resonate with you? I know that this questions have no answer but I had to get them out of myself.