day five: new wrinkles in my forehead

today is the day that I've been dreading for so long...the day when I feel glummer than I'd like, when I doubt that I'll actually find a place to live, when I just can't seem to convince myself that this is all doable. hello, totally doable. it's not like I don't have tons of support, a bit of resources, and a good deal of common sense. nevertheless, the weight of finding a home (and not just any home, mind you, but the ideal space that is in the perfect neighborhood, costs nearly nothing, and is just perfect for visitors) is bearing down on me. granted, this is the idealized version of my life...and perhaps that is part of this problem: that I idealized what this part of the experience would be like. but that is a part of this year, I guess. hopefully, I find a space that I feel comfortable in, can explain the money situation, and find a responsive person all at the same time and space.

with this consuming my thoughts, I haven't really enjoyed this day, which is unfortunate, as I trekked to a new part of the city while searching out a room. am going to speak with the accomodation people soon, should I absolutely need to fall back on dorm life in new cross, and then register for classes.

things will be better dear friends, so I hope you aren't worrying about me. my love to all.