less than 48 hours...

it's not that I'm counting the hours until I leave kigali. there have definitely been days when I was just waiting to leave, waiting for the beginning of august to come. but now, as the day is closer and closer, I have the standard mix of sad/excited/scared emotions. unless something comes up that I haven't planned, today was my last day of doing work. after being in a fairly constant state of working, it will be odd to not be thinking about who I should talk to or what people have told me. but hopefully a break from it will help me to process and appreciate what I've learned the last several weeks.

tonight I'll pack so that I can enjoy my friends tomorrow night without worrying too much. (I'm going to have some people get together for poisson grillé. and, of course, fantas.)

reflecting on my time in bujumbura

it's a been a couple of days since my return, but if I don't write this now, it may never get written.

bujumbura, the capital of burundi, is very different from kigali, especially the part of kigali that I live in. the country has only recently (as in 2005) settled into some sort of democratic governance, with a government composed of parties that were formerly fighting each other. whatever sense of stability that may be credited to the government (very little, at that) is in a bit of turmoil, as the FLN (a rebel group) has stalled in final discussions of a ceasefire agreement with the government. (once I locate some good news articles to elucidate this situation a bit more, I'll post them here.)

as the country has dealt with a cycle of violence since gaining independence from belgium in 1962, there is very little to build from. what I mean in that is that there is very little infrastructure and resources with which to build the country. roads in the capital city are pitted, the electricity is cut in certain quartiers (neighborhoods) frequently, the justice system is undergoing reform as there are few trained lawyers in the country. the impact of the wars is evident in the faces of the street children. I know that I've talked about the street children here in kigali before. the number of children in the streets of buj seems to be even greater than here in kigali, though I don't know any precise numbers. this situation goes towards explaining why tourists are warned against les petits bandites at night. children steal because, frankly, they have not much of a choice, if they are to survive. the state certainly isn't able to support them and, as far as I know, there are few NGOs working in the country to help alleviate this situation.

a story: when I was walking down the street one day (during the day), a small boy called after me. not surprising, as this often happens. but he was persistent, so finally I turned around. he then handed me my business card, one that had been stuck in a side pocket of my bag. I knew that it couldn't have fallen out of the bag, but didn't really think about the fact that he had likely reached into the pocket and taken it. it was my business card after all. it had little value to me. after thanking him and continuing on, a man around my age stopped me and told me that the child had stolen it from my bag. I explained to him that it was fine, that it was only my card. thinking back on this episode, perhaps the small boy was looking for a reward for returning something to me (even if he had stolen it). perhaps it was merely to see if the mzungu would notice a small hand in the outside pocket of her bag. I don't know. but seeing the faces of these children who may be orphans of the conflict, who may have been forced to participate in the fighting themselves is clear evidence of lack of state development. where do the priorities of a state that is coming out of conflict lie? I am not trying to suggest that the burundian government has got its priorities wrong. but it does leave one to wonder where does a state begin to rebuild itself after so much destruction. these questions don't even begin to get into the issues of transitional justice and future reconciliation amongst formerly warring factions of the population, which I was trying to look at a bit more closely while I was in buj. but it does put a human face to the reality of post-conflict societies, a face that we in the western world rarely see or choose to recognize.

back from burundi

I have much to say about my trip to burundi; definitely a week of high and lows. luckily, the week ended on the highs of going to dinner with at my friend emmanuel's home and meeting his immediate family and then sharing a bus seat (and sharing the joys of belle and sebastian and the shins) with two small mignon boys. the lows: realizing at the beginning of the week how little I know how about the situation there (I know more now) and being sexually harassed by a friend's friend whose house I was (note 'was') staying at.

that all being said, the trip was 9.5 hours long, so I'm a bit fatigued. I'll try to post more about burundi soon. but now, I need to shower and unpack all of my dirty clothes and think about what to do in my last few days here. yikes!!!

je suis arrivée à bujumbura

I arrived to buj yesterday afternoon after a long bus ride. luckily, I was met by a friend of a friend, whose house I am now staying in. guess I didn't need to take out more money on my credit card. oh well. alors, I have two meetings today and hopefully can arrange more for the rest of the week. it's odd how uncomfortable I feel being in a new city/not being in kigali. expected, but odd, nevertheless.

so, I'm here. now what to do with myself...

off to bujumbura

I know that I have been pretty bad about posting this week. this is mostly accounted for the fact that I've been running around kigali meeting with people and scheduling appointments. with dry season in full force, walking about in the strong sunshine has worn me out, meaning that I haven't run or done yoga once this week, let along post here.

this post comes 1.5 hours before my bus leaves for bujumbura, the capital of burundi. as some of you know, my thoughts about what my dissertation research might actually be on have long been on something of a comparative study of rwanda and burundi. they are similar in many ways, with long histories of conflict defined in terms of ethnicity, but are taking very different approaches to their reconciliation programs. also, while most of you know what has happened in rwanda, most of you probably don't know much about burundi. fear not; you're not alone. all of the common knowledge about rwanda also means that there are a lot of NGOs (non-governmental organizations) working here to rebuild the country. I'm going to bujumbura to try and talk to people working on the reconciliation process and see what I can learn.

that all being said, I have to go! just a few things to do in the next 30 minutes before I need to leave my house. I'll try to post again this week (just to let you all know that I arrived safely), but I have no idea what the internet cafe connection might be in buj. while this might seem like a crazy trip to take, thinking that I will be back to the states on august 2 (as in leaving in 11 days) is even crazier for me!

new photos posted

I know that I haven't been too diligent about posting photos to the blog. it just takes too long to upload! but I have managed to add a few new photos (!) to my flickr page, if anyone is interested.

only another 2.5 weeks...and so much work to do!

my love for cadbury dairy milk has found its way to the nyt.

not all that surprising, I know, but a visit to the address below will surely not disappoint anyone who shares my love for a cadbury from the u.k. a 200g cadbury mint chip chocolate bar was, in fact, a christmas gift from my aunt and uncle who spent the semester in the u.k. last year. and it was glorious.

this is also a wonderful reminder that I should pick up as much as I can carry (and have time to purchase) on my layover at london heathrow airport in three weeks. fabulous.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/11/dining/11cand.html?ei=5087%0A&em=&en=845a60d1675f0874&ex=1184385600&pagewanted=all

reveling in birthday love...

just wanted to post in appreciation of all of my lovely friends near (kigali!) and far (chi, kingsley, remsen, d.c., sfo, nyc, paris, poughkeepsie, and beyond!) who made my 27th wonderful. it is definitely hard to be away from so many people that I love, but it was, in some odd way, nice to think back on all of the different birthday experiences that I've had up until now. from doll birthday cakes and summer sleepovers to regent's park picnic to martinis at matchbox...

so, to all of you that were thinking of me on my birthday (even if you didn't get a chance to mail (I know how busy you all are!) or if you tried to call for six hours (my grammy)), merci mille fois. je vous aime.

27.

today's the birthday. while I have to do work throughout the day, I will celebrate tonight with a glass of wine with my housemates at republica. (and fear not; I took yesterday off to go to akagera national park and see animals. photos to come!)

on with the birth...

my saturday night in kigali

I know that my being in rwanda seems like I am doing a number of cool things and that, therefore, my family and friends' lives in the states are 'boring.' wrong. not that what I'm doing here isn't great and interesting. but keep in mind, I do the every day things of walking down the street and figuring out where places are. of course, I'm a mzungu throughout all of this. (note the spelling change; I just realized I was adding an 'i.' and in case I have failed to note this, 'mzungu' is a word (I think of swahili origin) that means 'white person.' I don't think that there is any derogatory sense to this word, but sometimes, you wouldn't feel that way from the way that the word can feel thrown at you.)

so, after that brief introduction, some of you will find this to post to be absurd. mct has already told me that I won't get to live this one down. but really, this story comes from being in a unique situation and having a good time. and maybe a bit of social saavy.

these last few days have been kind of blah for me, with frustrations in many different areas of my being here. after having breakfast at bourbon cafe (a posh coffee shop in the center of kigali, where rwandan elites and mzungus hang out), I went to the american embassy for a celebration of the fourth of july, meeting my friend clare. the fete was fine, but dull and I continually heard obnoxious comments from other americans at the picnic, complaining of 'how things are done in rwanda' and other such b.s. annoyed, I came home and moped for a bit. two of my housemates came home and one of them told me that we had missed seeing ewan mcgregor that morning at the cafe (as she had found out through an acquaintence.) so, the joke began that we would try and find him that night at a restaurant/bar near our house, republica. nina, who claims to not believe in things like lucky numbers, said that we had to leave at 7:07:07pm in order to have any luck in spotting ewan and his entourage. leaving at 7:07:49pm, I humored her and we took a pack of cards to play gin and see if 'luck' was on our side.

long story shorter: a couple of minutes after sitting down, an troop of men walked in and sat at the table next to ours. and yes, it was ewan and friends. mine and nina's playing gin caught the eye of one of the guys and we struck up a conversation with them. after leaving and returning, the men came back and this guy, david, sat down with us and played a round of gin. in course of doing so, we learned why the entourage was in kigali. they are in the midst of shooting the documentary 'long way down,' in which they travel through africa on motorbikes; this is a similar project to the film 'long way round,' in which the group traveld from london to new york - again, ewan and his friend charley boorman via motorbikes. david asked what we were doing in kigali, which led to my explaining my research. this then led to my explaining, upon request, the situation in rwanda today, as the group is meeting president kagame today for lunch. david was curious to learn more about the genocide (I recommended my advisor's book to him), as well as about the situation today. we discussed memorial sites (ntarama, specifically), poverty in rwanda, and the political state of this country. he drew in ewan and claudio (one of the cameraman on the project) to discuss all of this. so, here I'll admit that it was a bit surreal talking on and on about rwanda to film people, people who were about to meet the president and film it for their documentary. but it was also a great experience to actually talk through some of my observations of the country, a place that I have thought about so often in an academic sense. having these people, who had just had a shop opened in order to buy suits for their lunch with the president, ask what my take would be on the politics around their meeting with the president...well, it was definitely an experience.

after a bit more chatting and playing of gin, a decision was made to go to 'new cadillac,' a kigali nightclub. as this was an opportunity to go to the discotheque for the first time in company that I don't usually keep, nina and I decided to go. we climbed into the minibus with these guys and spent the next hour dancing. I chatted a bit with charley, who had some interesting things to relay from their time in northern uganda, and others in the group, and had a quick dance with ewan before leaving. kisses on the cheek and a 'it was lovely to meet you' and nina and I set off for home. (a bit of guilt for not being home earlier, as mct was ringing to help decompress my frustrated state, but of course, he understood.)

so yes, it sounds very exciting and yes, it was. surreal, but a genuinely good experience with people who are doing some really cool things...and I got to show off all of my knowledge and perspective on the situation here! of course, there is a photo to be posted, though that will have to wait until I can borrow another computer.

july 4, 2007 in kigali

while americans celebrated independence day with potato salad, citronella candles, family, friends, and fireworks, my housemates and I here in kigali also celebrated a national holiday...liberation day. the 13th liberation day, to be exact. while rwanda (and burundi, incidentally) gained its independence on july 1, 1962, which is also technically a nationaly holiday here, the day is not really celebrated. as far as I understand it, this is because many people (most often tutsis) do not regard rwanda's independence from belgium as being a true day of independence for all rwandans. liberation day, it should be noted, marks the end of the 1994 genocide. celebrations happen throughout the country, with the largest held at stade amahoro (amahoro stadium) in kigali. partly because this is the largest of celebrations, people come from throughout the countryside to go to amaharo.

as the stadium also houses the ministry of youth, sports, and culture (where I've been trying to get a research permission from over the last two weeks), I have been to the stade on several days during the rehearsal for this event. a majority of the liberation day celebration is a parade of the military. granted there are police and military officers throughout kigali with large, overwhelming guns on them at all times. but when I've been up to the stade to go to the ministry's office, seeing these soldiers with their guns with bayonets attached and missile launchers has been a bit unsettling. rwanda is one of the most secure countries on the continent; the parade of military yesterday was an emphasis of such military strength. (side note: though the rwandan defense forces are one of the most professionalized forces in the world, this does not mean that all of the soldiers have some staunch sense of decorum. yes, even they called out 'mizungu' as I would walk past.)

in order to make it into the stadium, my housemates and I left our home at 7:15a. after getting taxibuses, arriving to the stadium in two groups, going through security, and regrouping, we waited until 10:00a for the actual ceremony to begin. once the president arrived, the stadium was put on lockdown and the festivities began. two military marching bands, lots of armed soldiers, and a parade of several different ministries (focused on youth issues, mostly) and private security firm officers (odd) started off. there was plenty of blue, green, and yellow (rwandan flag colors) about for the occassion, in the colors of the stadium, the ribbons the decorated the vip section, and on many of the participants' garments. there were presentations of medals of honor, a speech by the president, and traditional intore dance. that I all expected. what I did not expect were the small displays of hand on hand combat (martial arts displays by soldiers, which were a riot to the rwandans sitting around us) and the display of pick ax and knife throwing. the event ended at 1:00p. though we did not exit the stade until 2:00p (as we waited for the masses of people to exit), we were all ready to leave by then.

but no, the day didn't end there. though some of the housemates returned home, three of us stayed about the area, shared a pizza for lunch, and then went back to the stade for the final football match of the amaharo cup. I had been told by a sports editor of one of the newspapers that the match started at 3:30p; it didn't end up starting until 6:00p. (rwandan time?) the actual match of the professional teams was preceded by a game between a team of businessmen and a team of taxibus men. there was a white man who played on the businessmen team and, at first, he flubbed up a bit. this only caused the rwandans to make fun of him and look at us with even more amusement. but when he scored the first goal, he gained a bit more respect (and we were given looks of surprise). finally, this match ended and it was on with the final. though we did not intend to do so, we ended up sitting in the fan section of APR FC, the team that is sponsored by the military. they have one of the largest fan bases in the country and have been a powerhouse in rwandan football over the last several years. sitting in this section provided for a 'purer experience,' as one of my housemates so optimistically put it. once the match was on, we weren't given much attention, which was nice. but when we left the stadium at the half (it was already such a long day at that point), I was definitely touched somewhat inappropriately more often than I care to remember, as well as accosted with seemingly angry tones of 'mizungu.' I suppose there aren't many white girls who come for football matches and sit in the 500 franc section.

all in all, an interesting day, though a tiring one as well. I did feel a bit sad that I wasn't able to see any fireworks or smell any charcoal grills during the day, but this was a unique experience in its own right. next on the list of holidays to look forward to: the birthday.

a blog follow-up

last week I blogged about an article in the nyt about birth order and identity. thinking of my own family, I found this follow-up article to be quite interesting.

I am a worm, hear me roar

cookie making in kigali

who knew?

the story dates back to my flight to kigali. while I was in the airport in addis ababa, ethiopia, I met clare, a nigerian woman who was raised in the u.k. and u.s. she left her position as a diplomat shortly after going to rwanda for the first time. she was so troubled by the circumstances that many street children endured, living in and eating out of garbage dumps. these children were orphaned as a result of the genocide and many had nowhere to go. over the last seven years, clare has established an organization, esther's aid, geared towards helping these children. her organization has built a small school in a kigali slum. here, children are educated at the primary level (i.e. elementary school). additionally, she has set up programs for skill training, including car mechanics, sewing/tailoring, and catering.

I had yet to visit clare's home or the school since coming to kigali, though she has telephoned several times to check in on me. after ringing saturday morning, I went to kacyiru, clare's neighborhood. mind you, this is the same area where several of the ministries, the president's office, and the new american embassy (which is still under construction; once it is completed, it will be the tallest building in the area) are located. not surprisingly, this is a nice area of kigali, with palm trees in the median of the road. (these trees were imported from south africa. the best use of the government's money? that's questionable.) behind this facade of clean, well-constructed buildings and roads is the slum in which clare lives and in which her school is located.

after a hour at her home, we went to the school to show the students in the catering program how to bake cookies. the result of this training will be the production of cookies, to be sold (most likely to ex-pats) in support of the organization. clare's organization has managed to get some nice equipment into the school. it was a really interesting experience to help mix cookie batter and bake cookies in a poor area of kigali. baking cookies seems, in many ways, to be second nature, as learning to do so was such a part of my growing up with my grandmother. to see these students learn to measure baking soda and form cookie balls was great. knowing that these will be skills that will help get them positions in hotels or as private cooks for richer families was inspiring. and I got to be a very small part of it.