old school remembrances

recently, I tracked down and emailed one of my best friends from high school. I don't know what prompted me to even look for her, but there was something that sparked and there I was, emailing her. I just received a response today, in which she admitted that she had tried to find me on myspace. that comment led me to go to myspace and take a look at her profile to, in that cyberspace sort of way, catch up with an old friend without really 'catching up.' anyway, this led me to navigate about the site and look in on the lives of other people from my small town community. interesting where some people have ended up. quite weird to get some partial sense of these people from their self-selected profile information. it was nice to see what some people have been doing. but, in browsing the listing of those people who went to my high school, it was also sad, in some ways, to see where some of these people are or are not. (I know that this sounds a bit elitest; I don't know how to not have such a tone and say this.)

lakshmi asked me last week how I felt about growing up in a small town. I did not know how to respond to the question because, to be quite honest, I don't know. it's not something that I really think about. of course I have the standard, 'it was nice to live in a place where everyone knows you but it was also hard with the small town politics,' a response that I consider to be well-rounded. since moving from kingsley, I have rarely thought about my growing up in context of my hometown but more so in context of my family and the situations bred within. perhaps the most telling of how I feel about small town living is my thought that I would never raise a child in such an environment. is that so wrong?

pre-sleep thoughts

I'm quite knackered and overly fed (lakshmi and I made yummy veg lasagna tonight; I ate more than my fair share), so going to sleep shouldn't be too difficult of a task. just some things floating around in my head that I've yet to put out here.

- in the beginning of marathon training again. feeling really good about my runs thus far. must remember that this kind of exertion makes one want to eat more. this is okay.
-am in the midst of training as a server at a posh hotel's restaurant. the location would seem like this place is ideal for making money. I've heard stories otherwise. here's hoping this turns around once I'm actually on the floor for myself. (here's also hoping that whatever my hours are doesn't suck away too much time with the boy.)
-really quite happy with m. he is working quite hard, which I assume is the norm for a first-year faculty member in the midst of teaching and getting his lab set up. a very good look at reality for what will likely be my own life in seven-eight years.
-saw my ex-boyfriend for the first time in the city. chance sighting at a bookstore that we've run into each other before (many moons ago). though my reaction surprises some of my friends, the only thing that I can really identifying feeling was that harsh reality that he in fact is in this city and exists. not that I don't know that (obviously) but being in his physical presence was just...well, weird.
-just found out that I will not be able to defer a loan that I took out to go to london when I start school in the fall. really, they expect me to be able to pay $175 a month when I'm on a grad student stipend? and what of when I'm in the middle of africa doing field study? this realization has only led me to think, 'well, I could take another loan from the federal government to pay off this loan.' eee gads people; money can sometimes feel like it only complicates matters.
-last sunday was 'jessica petersen appreciation day' at the church that my sister is working at this year. I've yet to hear how the fesitivities went off, but just enjoy the idea that some collective marked a day to pay homage to my sister. a bit odd, but cool, I suppose.
-getting back into french with some self-motivated self-tutoring before signing on for classes next month at alliance francaise. while exciting and fun to remember a lot of this, my mind swirls with the amount of work I've yet to do.

I've rambled a bit and now my eyelids are indeed droopy. off to bed.