homi bhabha, you must die.

before anyone gets completely freaked out, the homi bhabha to which I am referring is my six-year-old gateway laptop, not the brillant poco professor who now teaches at harvard. no, no, I revere that homi k. bhabha. but unfortunately, the hkb that sits in a bag at my feet is near its own death, which will likely be brought on by me.

yet again, homi bhabha has failed me. not only have I treated said computer well over the last several years, but I even gave it a break between 2002 and 2004. now, in 2005, as I meticulously plan each day around the writing of one particular paper (ie when I can work out, when I can socialize, when I'll be at which library/cafe, et cetera), the bastard fails me. yet again, my friends, the screen fails to turn on 40 percent of the time, which is just often enough for me to believe that my trips to the british library, and other such locations nowhere near my flat, will not be in vain. that I will be able to sit in a quiet, or relatively quiet space, depending on the time of day (after all, afternoon tea in starbucks isn't exactly 'quiet,' no matter how fussy the brits can be), and write a ditty or two on genocide and photography.

but no, not today. today, after working for a hour in senate house library and lunch with harry, homi bhabha's screen fails to light up in the way that it should. the way that it did light up: vertical stripes of pink & grey. well listen hkb, I heart vassar as much as the next graduate, but get over it and start showing me some windows!

honestly, I know that I sound like a ranting maniac by one, referring to my computer as a person and two, actually putting this scattered inner dialogue online for my friends to read/speculate on my sanity. but so be it people. this has happened one too many times. as much as I'll do to work around the frentic working/nonworking schedule of my computer in the next couple of weeks, I hearby declare the death of my computer upon my return to the states. there will be some sadness in saying goodbye to ol' hkb, but f* it. I can no longer plan in computer failures into my dissertation schedule anymore.

and that, for the most part, has been my day. oy.